Tips for a Hassle-Free Car Purchase

1) Be sure to take your two children under the age of two with you to the dealership.

2) Ignore concerned looks of employees and salesmen when you walk in the front doors.

3) Be sure to give your two year old toys that she can throw at the glossy, shiny new cars located inside the dealership. Ignore the fact that most of these toys have plastic edges that don't coexist well with shiny, new auto paint jobs.

4) Be sure (dads, I'm looking at you) to give your two year old a guided tour of the same shiny, new cars while completely ignoring the fact that said two year old's fingers are perpetually sticky. Not to mention the fact that she likes to touch EVERYTHING.

5) To keep said toddler busy during the inevitably long negotiations and needless wait times, be sure to show her the columns upon columns of balloons the dealership has so sweetly provided for her entertainment.

6) Try not to wince every time said toddler yells "Alllooons" at the top of her lungs.

7) Try not to wince every time said toddler pops a balloon-- and then cries because the noise scared her.

8) During negotiations-- and especially while reviewing long, convoluted lists of financing and amortization terms-- make sure your toddler and baby are both crying. This makes concentrating so much easier.

9) To further distract said toddler during negotiations, let toddler play "soccer" with balloons she finds on the floor-- even if her game tends to run through the middle of other people trying to look at or purchase vehicles.

10) Finally, be sure to show your toddler the water cooler that is conveniently just her height. She'll gladly pretend she's playing in the bath tub for 20 minutes while splashing water all over the marble-tiled showroom floor.

Follow these easy tips and I guarantee that car salesmen will rush to ensure that your negotiations run smoothly and you are out of there in no time flat. I think the car salesmen we met last night would have given us a new car to make us leave.

On a happy note, we are the proud, owners of a new Camry. Whoo hoo!!